We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
