You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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