There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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