She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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