Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
