Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
