the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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