Whatcha textin bout Willis?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
