I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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