I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
