david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
