it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
