He asked to "fluff my boner.."
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
