Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
two words...techno handjob
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
