Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
