But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
