I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
