how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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