I'm going to jail i love you
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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