i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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