Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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