I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
