What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
