I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
