Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
