i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
