Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
