you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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