But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
