oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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