yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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