i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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