It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i believe in u and ur pee
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