omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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