so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
