Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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