pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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