wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
