We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
