when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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