Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
