I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
