i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We had to coat check the pizza.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
