i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
