His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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