Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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