the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
