yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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