you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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