Someone shit on the floor
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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