My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
