I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
