The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The beer is more important than you right now.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
